Liturgy for use at a memorial service for Bill Pertwee of Dad's Army.
Archdruid: We are gathered together to remember William (Bill) Pertwee, who so movingly played Warden Hodges in Dad's Army. May perpetual light shine upon him and...
Omnes: Put that light out!
The late William Pertwee.
Archdruid: Ruddy hooligans!
Omnes: Now look 'ere, Napoleon...
Verger (sotto voce): Her reverence isn't going to like this...
Archdruid: All right, let's have a little Gregorian chant to calm ourselves down here.
Anthem: Quem te decipere putas, O Hitlere?*
*Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler?