Scarlett and purple

Well, I is very worried dat Jessus is annoyed wiv my darlin bruvver Bosco, and dat he have gotta place reserved in de Lake of Fire (which means dat he aint as saved as he thuoght he was). Dis seems a bit unfair, as Bosco is de moddle of Christian virtue, and is always pollite and helpfull when he tries to save uvver people. He once got de Calumny Chappel award for takin de specks out of uvver people's eyes.

So Bosco he went to see Pastor La Sagne at de Calumny Chappel, and said "Jessus told me dat I was saved. Do you fink he's changed his mind? Is it cos we got some scarlett and purple flowers in de garden? In de book of Relevation it says dat means we is de horse of Babbleon."

Dese are de Sattanic flowers, we ripped em up and burnt dem to be on de safe side.



Anyways, we got more plaques infestin de house, as I prophesized. Bosco he says it is just de hot weather and de fact dat we never washes (cos we is already washed in de blud of de Labm). We got lice, den we got flies, and den all de catle dyin. Actaully, we aint got any catle, but I looked up de book of Exeters, and de text says "Behold, de hand of de LORD is upon de catle which is in de field, upon de horses, upon de asses, upon de cammels, upon the oxxen, and upon the sheep". So I fink dat de dead cat wot I found in de gardden mihgt be a sort of catle. But Grate-Anti Moly ate it raw and said it was dellicious, so maybe it only had a mild form of de plaque.

Bosco, I is very worried about scarlett and purple now, as I sees it everywhere. What about dis bird what was flyin over de house? Is it de horse of Babbleon?

A new recriut

Bosco and me is very excitted today, as we got an e-mail from Damain Thompson. I will summarize what he said. In case you dont guess, dis is his message in my own words, as dey is easier to understand.

"Dear Bosco and Eccles, I has decided to stop bein a Cathlic, as de arguments from bruvver Bosco is so powerfull dat nobody can resist dem. You may already have geussed dat, since I has stopped postin bloggs on Cathlic issues, and is instead cuttin and pastin silly comments from Twiter about Ruppert Mudroch.

So from now on I is de enemy of Vincent Nickles, Kierran Conray, Arthur Rochhe, and de rest of dem pesky bishops in de Magic Circus. Dat includes Mary O' Conti and de others in Scottland. Dese folk can no longer expect me to say how devout and holly dey is. I has seen thruogh dem. Dey will be cricketised remorzelessly. To start off I is gonna write a blogg on dis controversial topic: 'Kierran Conray wears silly shirts'. I is expectin Paul Preist (On De Side Of De Angles) to come in with 1000 words on dis topic, tellin me I is a fool, but dis is a martydrom dat I must bear.

I aint sure about de Pop yet, I fink I will just tell peeple he is German, dats gonna shock em.

I is also gettin rid of my iddles and relicks, de statue of de Verger Mary have been frown in de bin, dis is what Jessus wants me to do. Also de lock of hare of Pop Jhon-Paul II wot I pinched when nobody was lookin, dat has been fed to de Daley Telegrapph's pet goat.

From now on, I wants to be saved like you, Bosco and Eccles, and I is gonna write a blogg in a totally different style, probbably modellin it on Bosco's luvvly writins.

Of course as a member of de Calumny Chappel I aint gonna stop bein a bloody crazy ferrett, and Pastor Redlight and de others is gonna have to watch out for my feirce condamnations of dere herresies. I only doin it to help save dere soles.

Yours sincerely,
Bruvver Damain of de Calumny Chappel."

So dere we have it. As it says in de Bibble, Rome is de horse of Babbleon, and noboddy can be saved unless dey is born agin.

I will come back to our own personal affairs soon. Here is de sort of service dat awiats Damain now dat he is saved.



And here are de Cathlics expressin dere greif at losin Damain.



Maybe I got de pitchers confussed. Who knows?