Dont kiss relicks

Ullo, Bosco my dere bruvver. It seems dat de Lord provided a mirackulous cure, and your concusion is gettin better. You will soon be back to normal behaviuor, i.e. beetin up anyone who mihgt be a Cathlic.

De storry of how God wruoght a mirackle is very good, and when de Book of Bosco (written by Eccles) is added to de Bibble, dis will be one of de bits dat de folks in church will reely stay awake for. What hapenned was dat Prince Willaim and Katte was doin a royal tour near us, and Bosco decided to go and tell dem dat dey wasnt saved. Dis we may reggard as de martydrom of Bosco, as when he rushed up to dem brandishin a Bibble he was immediately atacked by de Army, de FBI, de LA police, de boy scuots, de girl giudes and de mothers-and-toddlers group. Dey beet him voilently and he got a blow on de head which cured his concusion (actaully, Bosco is embarassed as it was one of de toddlers who hit him wiv her dolly).

When Bosco was cured we decidded to go to de Calumny Chappel for a service of thanksgivin, and we even persauded Anti Moly to come along, sayin dat we'd buy some gin on de way so dat she had somethin to occupy her mind durin de Pastor's homilly.

But it turned out badly: we was drivin Anti Moly to church, and we stopped at de trafic lihgts outside a Cathlic Church. De priest came out and saw de wizzened figure of my Great-Ant fast aslepe in de car, and said "Oh Bosco, dat is very kind of you to bring us de bonnes of an old lady. Is dat de relicks of a saint? I gonna kiss em." He oppened de car door and gave my anti a big KISS on de lips, but she hit him wiv a gin bottle and said "Traddy Cathlics I hates em all!" Well dats only fair, nobody likes bein mistakken for a relick. So we decidded to go home again.

Well, dats all for now. Bosco is still behavin a little strangley to my expert eye. He wants me to call him Nebbuchadnozzer and he is gonna sleep in de garden and eat grass. Maybe de concusion aint all gone.

I gotta pitcher of Bosco relaxin in de garden.

Bosco is concused

Ullo Bosco, my derest bruvver, you go and have a lie-down while I explanes what happened today.

We got Grate-Ant Molly settled in a room wiv a winder overlookin de rode, so dat if anyone came past she could go out and screem abbuse at dem, dis is called a hobby. We also got wirless internet, so she can keep up wiv de discussions on de bloggs. Dere is some scandle involvin Joanne Hairy, de chap what came and interviwed Bosco, and dis means dat Grate-Ant Molly needs to pick on all de Cathlics on de blogg and call dem names, dis is called inteliggent debate.

Well, Bosco was in de front gardden getting ready to kiss an ornnament dat we put there. It is Saint Peter de fisherman and here he is.



Suddenly a lapptop computter came flyin out of de winder of Anti Molly's room, together with a screem of "Lies! All lies! I was never banned!"

Bosco was underneeth, and got concused. From then on, he have been behavin very strangley... I don't mean his normal ecentricties, much worse. He said he had been a sinnful person and wanted to confess and get absollution. Dis is what Cathlics do (in de Calumny Chappel we knows dat we is saved and so dere is no need to worry about sins). So he went off to see Father X. O'Cise who lives neerby.

About five hours later I gotta phone call, "Dis is Fr O'Cise, can you come and colect Bosco, he is confessin his sins, and so far have only got up to de age of 9 months when he frew his teddy bare out of de pram sayin it was an iddle. I cant take any more of dis."

Bein a good bruvver I brought Bosco home (Anti Molly had gone out to buy gin). He is still concused as he says he wants to apollogise for tryin to kill me. I fink he's confussed as I certainly aint notissed him killin me.

Here is de first iddle dat Bosco tried to desstroy when he was a luvly baby.