Bosco in luv

I fink it was a mistake to git an actress to go out to dinner wiv Bosco prettendin to be de leggendary Hilda. I aint yet posted her pitcher, so here she is eatin a bananana, she's a big girl, aint she? Dere's anuvver photo on Bosco's own blogg.



Bosco finks she's addorable, but I fink she would be very expenssive to feed. Anyways, whenevver anyone telephons, Bosco gits out of de box he's sleepin in, russhes to de phon, and says "You is Hilda, aint you?" So far he have said dis to:

1. Someone trying to sell dubble glazzin, who heard dat Anti Moly keeps brakin winders when Damain Thopmson's blogg gets too excitin. Dey fink we'll need reinfforced glass.
2. Fr X. O' Cise of de Cathlics, who wants to explane to Bosco about worsship. I'll say more about dat bellow.
3. Our dere Mom, wot phons up once a month to remindd us to change our socks.
4. De pollice tellin us dat dey had fuond Anti Moly's pair of flase teef wot she lost yesterdday.

None of dem was Hilda. It's traggic, innit?

Anti Moly's teef was fuond embedded in de leg of Sister Terresa of de Cathlic Order of de Little Sisters of St Septiceamia, what looks after de sick and hypocondriac. Dats irronic as Sister Terresa aint feelin too good herself now, it mihgt be tetternus.

Dis worhsip fing is a dreddful habbit dat Cathlics got. Bosco says dat when Jessus comes again in Glorry - dat's de Rapture, for which we buoght pussonalised tickets at de Calumny Chappel Chritsmas Bazarre - de Cathlics is all gonna say "Git lost, we wants your Mom." In de Bibble it aint never recordded dat Jessus kissed his Mom, so dat proves dey didnt git on too well. She didnt even give him luvvin phon calls like Mom does when she tells Bosco "Change your socks you repptile, and stop writtin dat pathettic blogg." Father X. O' Cise says dat Cathlic worhsip aint quite like that but Anti Moly backs us up, she says she got rells who was Cathlics and dey spent all dere time kissin iddles so dat proves it.

Well, dats enuogh tholeogy for now.

Bosco, I is very shokced. Your herro Richard Dakwins, who gave you dat awarrd for your luvvly blogg, have been seen wiv a statue of Juppitter dat he was clearly plannin to kiss. Have he got no shamme?

Eccles and Bosco is pure

I is very cross wiv Grate-Anti Moly, cos she has been spreddin rumors about me. She told her frends dat my luvvly blogg was full of SEX. Dat aint nice, Anti Moly, cos I is pure in hart and I has been saved. Likewise if you looks at Bosco's blogg you will see dat he never mentions SEX on it. He dont even know what de word means, we was both away when dey did dat in shcool.

We got all sorts of pevrets singing into my blogg now and leavin nasty messages. I fink dat Anti Moly told dem dat it was de place to come for pornorgaphy and dey was dissapointed.

Dis Moly is my own flesh and bludd, viz Mom's Anti who was bannished to Austriala and escapped to visit us. If she weren't our fambly, I would be phonin dem pollite and courtoeus laywers, Cutley, Butley and Mutley, to help me soo her for libble. I gotta reputtation to deffend, I is workin hard as a Telegrahp Muddlerator over de summer. Bosco aint gotta reggular job, but he got a key positoin in soceity as a part-time Calumny Chappel Sundy School Teecher, Kid-dissciplinarrian, Nun-torturrer, Cement Dove-polisher, and Buoncer. Also he is repsonsible for our Mission to Save de Cathlics, althuogh he aint got very far wiv dat.

Dis is my laywer, bein kissed by an angle becuase he is saved. Anti Moly you libbles me at your perril.




Well, Bosco got into deep trubble wiv Camila Van Pyre his reggular girlfiend, after he went out to a big dinner wiv an acktress who told him her name was Hilda (dis was explaned last time). Camila came round and screemed at him "Dubble-dealin two-timin crettin!"
Anti Moly chimed in wiv screeches of "Sockpoppet!"
We got a tellephone call from de neihgbours complainin about de niose "If dat's de Calumny Chappel Chior Practise, cuold you do it more queitly?" dey said. "But de quallity of your chorral signing is sure gittin better." Dey is reely dubm we doesnt sign any hynms about Cathlics bein dubble-dealin two-timin crettins, except at funnerals.

Bosco he got cross and said "Bite me!" and dat was not a good move, as Anti Moly's 3-headed dog (we is callin him Spot now) gave him some nasty wuonds in de leg, and Camila bit Bosco in de thraot. I gotta nasty feelin about dis, Bosco.

Here is a touchin romantic pitcher of Bosco and Camila.



Bosco gotta see a dentist tomorrow, his teef seems to be growin suddenly. Also he refussed to eat de garlic bread we had wiv our dinner. Dey say dat cupples start to ressemble each uvver, and I fink Bosco is adopttin some of de habbits of Camila Van Pyre.

Bosco's feast

De cellebrations of Bosco's birfday continnues, dis is like de Lords feast dat we is invited to as we is savved, and Bosco says we gotta practice by eatin a lot.

As you may know, Bosco is obssesed by a dame called Hilda, and he gits very confussed and says dat it is me sometimes. So I fuoght I would help him wiv dis probblem. Since we aint far from Holywood, I mannaged to book an acttress to come along and say she was de leggendry Hilda wot Bosco is seekin. Dis acttress is a very big girl.

Bosco invitted her out to de resteruant, where de sing says "Be greedy, eat what you wants for $17. Disscount if you is saved."

Dis was what Bosco ate:

Pasta Dave.
Leftover stew, made with food dat's been saved.
"Cement" doves wiv gravy in image.
St Peter's rock cakes.
Donuts a la Damain Thopmson.
Chocolate Boscoits in a lake of fire.

De actress Hilda had a meal which makes me fink she aint saved. It was suet puddin dumplins deep fried puddins frenchfries whole roast pig wiv an apple in de mouf whole roast sperm whale wiv a shark in its mouf six fried hippopotamuses and (dis is de healthy opttion) a lettice leaf.

She's a big girl and no mistake, and Bosco put a pitcher of her on his blogg, sayin dat she was his girlfiend. I fink Camila gonna be very cross when she knows about dis.

We got Bosco a new costtume for goin to de Calumny Chappel, it is to disguisse de fact dat he have put on a lot of weihgt.



I gonna finnish wiv a happy pitcher of Anti Moly walking her new dogg. We aint got a name for it yet. When she calls it she screems "Sockpoppet", but den she screems dat at everyone.