Makin my peas wiv Anti Moly

As you saw on de previuos blogg, I was very cross wiv Anti Moly for sayin dat dere was SEX on dis blogg. But bein a holy and saved persson, I decidded to forgiv her. So I got her a peas offerin, some luvvly flowers. Well we aint got many flowers in de gardden, but I picked her a bunch of luvvly homlocks and netles, its de thuoght what counts. It aint easy to find it in de Bibble but I is sure dat Jessus would have done de same if his Anti had been mean to Him.



Den I took dem flowers to her room, and was startin a speech I had preppared, viz "Anti Moly we is all God's creetures, and dat includdes you who aint saved and who is gonna end up in de lake of fire. Sorry if I is bein a bit tactless in mentionnin dis rihgt now. My hart is pure and I has forgivven you your wikced libbles about my blogg."
But I didnt get dat far, as she snatched de flowers from me wiv a cry of "Lunch! At last!" and gobled dem down.

I finks we is freinds agin now, and I took Spot de dog for a walk, he's a good dog, but when you throws sticks for him, you has to throw three of dem, or else de three heads (Micky, Rutzi and Rofls) starts to fihgt. Anyways, Anti Moly says he prefers bons.
"Where does I get bons?" I asked Anti.
Anti Moly said, "Ask de bucther for some bons, or else de undertakker."
I went to see de bucther and he said "I'll save some bons for you, Eccles."
"Dat can't be rihgt," I repplied. "If dey is alreddy bons, den it's too late for dem to be saved. Pastor Vermicelli told me dat." Some poeple just dont understannd evangellical thoelogy.

Anyways, Bosco is behavin very stranggely after bein bitten by Camila. He has ordered a wooden box and says he wants to sleep in it all day.



Dat may seem lazy, but Bosco says dat he will go out at nihgt and save passers-by, so I guess it's OK.

Eccles and Bosco is pure

I is very cross wiv Grate-Anti Moly, cos she has been spreddin rumors about me. She told her frends dat my luvvly blogg was full of SEX. Dat aint nice, Anti Moly, cos I is pure in hart and I has been saved. Likewise if you looks at Bosco's blogg you will see dat he never mentions SEX on it. He dont even know what de word means, we was both away when dey did dat in shcool.

We got all sorts of pevrets singing into my blogg now and leavin nasty messages. I fink dat Anti Moly told dem dat it was de place to come for pornorgaphy and dey was dissapointed.

Dis Moly is my own flesh and bludd, viz Mom's Anti who was bannished to Austriala and escapped to visit us. If she weren't our fambly, I would be phonin dem pollite and courtoeus laywers, Cutley, Butley and Mutley, to help me soo her for libble. I gotta reputtation to deffend, I is workin hard as a Telegrahp Muddlerator over de summer. Bosco aint gotta reggular job, but he got a key positoin in soceity as a part-time Calumny Chappel Sundy School Teecher, Kid-dissciplinarrian, Nun-torturrer, Cement Dove-polisher, and Buoncer. Also he is repsonsible for our Mission to Save de Cathlics, althuogh he aint got very far wiv dat.

Dis is my laywer, bein kissed by an angle becuase he is saved. Anti Moly you libbles me at your perril.




Well, Bosco got into deep trubble wiv Camila Van Pyre his reggular girlfiend, after he went out to a big dinner wiv an acktress who told him her name was Hilda (dis was explaned last time). Camila came round and screemed at him "Dubble-dealin two-timin crettin!"
Anti Moly chimed in wiv screeches of "Sockpoppet!"
We got a tellephone call from de neihgbours complainin about de niose "If dat's de Calumny Chappel Chior Practise, cuold you do it more queitly?" dey said. "But de quallity of your chorral signing is sure gittin better." Dey is reely dubm we doesnt sign any hynms about Cathlics bein dubble-dealin two-timin crettins, except at funnerals.

Bosco he got cross and said "Bite me!" and dat was not a good move, as Anti Moly's 3-headed dog (we is callin him Spot now) gave him some nasty wuonds in de leg, and Camila bit Bosco in de thraot. I gotta nasty feelin about dis, Bosco.

Here is a touchin romantic pitcher of Bosco and Camila.



Bosco gotta see a dentist tomorrow, his teef seems to be growin suddenly. Also he refussed to eat de garlic bread we had wiv our dinner. Dey say dat cupples start to ressemble each uvver, and I fink Bosco is adopttin some of de habbits of Camila Van Pyre.

Bosco in love

Bosco's girlfiend, Camila, wot lives near de cemettery, came round to see us last nihgt. She says she used to be a Cathlic, but den she got bitten by evanggelism. We oferred her a drink and she asked "Does you perchance has any blud?" Dis aint part of our ussual ciusine, but lukcily Anti Moly had a bottle handy, she says dat someone came round while we was out who looked like he mihgt be a Cathlic. I fink it is best to ask no questions here, at least we has got some refreshmeant for Camila. We also offerred Bosco’s beautiful lady a jiucy stake but she was offendded, I dont know why. Bosco adorres her, and everyone sez she is just the sort of person to clam him down a little when he gets wild.

Dis is Camila and a wooden bed she sleeps in, it is a luvvly photo.



After his award from "Pervo Times", Bosco's blogg have gained him another prize, dis time from de Dawkins foundation wot is run by a grate scholar in Oxford who got borred wiv playing with test tubes and took up thoelogy. Although stricly speaking dese peeple is athiests, and so hasnt been saved, dey is very sound when it comes to persecuttin Cathlics, so we regards dem as our bruvvers wiv just a few docktrinal diferrences. De award dis time is a luvly pair of St Boxo shorts, which my dere bruvver plans to ware on his head so dat everryone can see what kind of person he is.



I has been ticked off by Bosco for reveelin dat Damain Thopmson have converted to de Calumny Chappel, as dis is a seccret at present. Damain will continnue writing non-religgious blogs about Joanne Hairy until someone notice dat he is avoiddin de subject of de Cathlic church (frankly, he is scarred dat Cristinna Oddone will find out and beet him up, she’s a tuogh lady).

Bosco aint very popular wiv de Calumny Chappel right now, as he recenttly gave a Bibble class to de under-12s, and de hospital said dey was overworked as a result, viz. 6 broken noses, 8 broken arms, 4 cases of concusion, and one leg bitten off completelly. Well dem kids was nuaghty and Bosco had to disscipline dem nobody could objecct to dat. He told de little boys and girls dat dey would end up in de lake of fire, and dat dey would not be saved. He is a kind bruvver to me, and I can tetsefly dat he only does dese things in order to help peeple.

PS I found dis in de garden under Anti Moly's window, I fink it is someone who aint saved.

Bosco wins an award

De very excitin news today is dat Bosco have won an award from "Pervo Times". Dis aint a maggazine dat we reads in our household (usually, Bosco prefers de comics, and I is advancin on my spirritual journy by readin de Daily Telegrahp).

As anyone knows who have read Bosco's luvly blogg, he is very fond of postin pitchers of poeple dressed up as preists wot is kissin each other. I hasnt got the hart to tell him that dey aint reel preists, it is moddles panderin to de fantassies of sick poeple. Pastor Spaghetti of de Calumny Chappel says dat dere is some sick poeple in de Cathlic churhc, but frankly none of dem is as weird as my dere bruvver Bosco. I hasnt got de hart to say dat to Bosco, neither.

De Pervo Times poeple did say dat dere was one photo on Bosco's blogg dat was too kinky even for dere reeders, it was labelled "Pic of my girlfiend". Actaully Bosco aint gotta girlfiend, although dere was a very uggly girl once dat went on a date wiv Bosco on condition dat she could take along her duaghter, who was a Judo expert, to protect her. We managged to take a photo of her within de first 10 minutes, after which she ran away screemin.

Bosco is curently lookin for a reel girlfiend, he is in love wiv dis dame. She is very pretty but I fink her teef is too big (dont tell Bosco I said this).



She live somewhere near de cemeterry and is busy all day so we only sees her at night.

We is waitin for the award from "Pervo Times", which is a statue called Free Graces. I fink it's a bit kinky myself. Bosco gonna dress dem in cossacks and say dey is preists, den put it on his blogg.

De writin on de wall for Bosco

Well we'd better resumme de story of de mysteriuos writin on de wall. Someone wrote "Bosco, you aint saved" on de dinin room wall. Was it Jessus? Was it Anti Moly? Was it Fr Xavier Pell de Mons of de Cathlic church? Could it have been little bruvver Eccles (dat wuold be a clevver plot twist)?

Well, I started looking for finger prints, blood stanes, and scraps of tobbaco ash, like Sheerlock Homes wuold do. First I fuond Anti Moly sleepin sweetly under de tabble wiv 18 gin bottles. Next, I went to de tiolet, and on de wall I saw lots of interrestin grafitti wiv messages like "Cathlics is all dirty fagots and preverts", but I knew what dat was, it was just de first draft of Bosco's luvvly Christain blogg.

De briliant dettective Eccles was not to be thwatted, and in de end I worked out who it was by a deviuos strattegem, viz sayin out loud "Who dun that, eh?" One of de geusts turned out to be an imposter, he werent from de Lake Hellsinus Calumny Chappel at all, but from our grate rivvals de Lake Hellsapoppin Calvados Chapule. Dis is a scissmattic branch, wot have pervertted de teechins of our grate founder, St Chuck (whose statue we kisses each Sunday). De absurd herresies dey believe includes:

1. You gotta dress up as vampirres, not as clowns, to worsship de Lord.
2. Cathlicks is all dammed, but dey aint as bad as Musslims.
3. When convertin herretics who aint saved, dont use an axe but use a blunt instrumeant.
4. Worshippin iddles is bad, but Sabbaf-brakin is even worse, although you is allowed to do it on a Tuesday.

Dis is Pastor Lugosi of de herretical Calvados Chapule givvin de kiss of peace to a worhsipper. You can tell dey aint saved.



Dis is de way WE in de Calumny Chappel, de really saved ones, does de kiss of peace.



We is plannin a briliant coupp against dem Calvados herretics, just as soon as Bosco's concusion is better. De doctor said dat Bosco should take some tabblets, but I aint sure dat we gave him de the rihgt ones, he gone into de gardden wiv dem and is keeping de neihgbors awake wiv his shoutin.