Showing posts with label Solomon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Solomon. Show all posts

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Eccles is hacked.

I was sittin at de computter yesterday, planning de next bit of spiritaul nuorishment for my long-sufferin readers, viz. an in-depth analysis of de book 1 Kings for de Eccles Bibble project, when I noticed dat de pitchers on my blogg was all disappearin.

Not a pitcher

Wot is left when your pitchers has gone.

In de words of de Tridentine Mass Cui Bono? wot means "As a benefit to whom?" (Or, in de translatoin done by Mgr Bassil Loftus in the 1960s, "Whose is dem bones?" - I fink he was referrin to Ezekiel 37.)

So we has to look at all de usual suspects.

men with alibis

"Well, if you've all got alibis, we must look elsewhere..."

Reely, the fust on my list of suspects should be my dere Bruvver Bosco, wot is a saved pusson like me. He and I aint never seen eye-to-eye, which is odd as I often just echoes what he is sayin. However, Bosco aint got de technical know-how to hack a saved pusson's blogg: he once spent three weeks unable to logg on to his own blogg cos de CAPS LOCK key was on. He cuoldn't phone de technical support cos he mistook de TV channel changer for a mobile phone.

So it aint Bosco. Nor Anti Moly, whose laptopp aint workin since she threw it at Mgr X. Pell De Mons, de local Cathlic priest.

sympathy from Bosco

Bosco shares in his little bruvver's sorrows.

Could it be our dere friend Damain Thopmson, alias Captain Custard? A careless reeder of dis blogg might say dat he was bein mocked occasoinally; more careful reeders knows dat he is learnin a lot from my blogg, and his own little blogg is soundin more and more like a paroddy of mine.

Nichols and de Dame

Archbishop Nichols points de finger, but I fink he is wrong.

De fertile mind of Eccles thought a bit more about people who might not apprecaite his writins. Could dear old Richard Dakwins be exasperated by de Eccles Bibble Project, which is forcin him to read a book of de Bibble every week after havvin had it explaned to him by an expert? We is comin up to Sollomon, what was a wise (and slightly saved) pusson - maybe de Professor is scared dat he may be reveeled as not bein very wise himself?

Dawkins gettin cross

Eccles, come clean now - is it wise to cut babies in half, or not?

Well de list of suspects is long, as dere is many wot doesnt luv poor Eccles. We can rule out Basil Loftus, Giles Fraser, and de staff of de Tablet, as dey aint viscous pussons, dey is kind and luvvin, even if dey is wrong on most fings.

Well, my fust break was when I found a biretta lying round de house. Can it be a clue?

a clue

Wot can dis mean?

To be continued...


For dem wot cares, I is gonna repare de most recent blosts, and de most poppular, but de rest is gonna be like de Bibble, and have no pitchers.

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. Eccles. 1:2.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Bosco got boils

Well we saw it commin, Bosco have got boils. Dis is de sixth plaque, and I really am worried about whether my dear bruvver has got dis Salivation business tottally sown up. Bosco phoned up Jessus to complane dat de Lord was persecutin him, but de number was unobtainabble.

Dis is a fambly blogg, and a photo of my darlin bruvver Bosco wiv boils mihgt be a bit scarey for children and give dem bad dreams, so I has painted his portrait for dis blogg. Note dat dis aint a graven image, and you would have to be mad to want to kiss it.

Bosco wiv boils

In fact we got de next plaque almost immediattely, dat was hail and thunder. Bosco was in de garden and a lot of big hail stones hit him on de head. I hope it dont bring on his concusion again, but franckly it is hard to tell when he is normal.

As it was Sunday, we went to de Calumny Chappel again, and Bosco disgiused himself, so dat nobody knew he had de plaque. In fact we is very braod-minded in de Chappel, and all de Pastor said was "You is lookin very well today Bosco, I hopes dat de brane dammage is better". Dis is Bosco in disgiuse.

Bosco in disgiuse

De Bibble readin today was all about Solommon askin de Lord for wisdom, well Bosco got dat already. You can tell dat from his briliant thoelogical blogg, and de way he can argue de hind leg off a donkey (we got a lot of three-legged donkeys round here so dat proves it).

What I remembers about Solommon was dat he used to cut babies in half, I hope dat Bosco aint gonna start doin dis, we got enuogh probblems already wiv Anti Moly, and I dont fink dat can be de rihgt way to get saved. But I has hid de carvin knife just in case.