Anti Moly's birfday

My Anti Moly has had an important birfday. I aint supposed to say which one it is, but she got tellegrams from the Queen, de Govenror-Generall, Dame Edna Everage, Rolf Harrass, and Shane Worn, dat aint bad since de only one on de list wot knows her is Rolf. De tellegram from Cradinal Pell must have got lost in de post.



De Queen forgot to fill in de date, I expect she was too busy.

"Eccles, we is goin out for a cellebratoin, and I is gonna show you de best Austrialan ciusine," said my dere Anti. So she booked us a table at de leadin Pottymouth restaurant, "Maisson Boomerang," so called because your food usaully comes back again a few hours later.

Anti Moly had a luvly twelve-course meal of kangaroo suop, fried oppossum, wallabby stew, roast wombat, koalla bear pie, emu curry, haddock, crockodile, giant barracuda and many other dellicacies washed down wiv gallons of gin. For me she chose de "bush ticker" optoin, of live witchetty grubbs, spiders, weevils, mouse tales, etc. washed down wiv staggnant water fresh from de billaboing. She spoils me, she really does, and it makes up for de dog food and bons dat she gave me when I first got here.



Den we sang tradditoinal Austrialan songs, like "Waltzin MacKillop," "Tie me sockpuppets down, sport," and "De Cradinal wot loved me" (dat's a new one I didn't know) until dey frew us out into de street.

After dis grate feast we is both feelin a little ill, I cant fink why.

Bosco's feast

De cellebrations of Bosco's birfday continnues, dis is like de Lords feast dat we is invited to as we is savved, and Bosco says we gotta practice by eatin a lot.

As you may know, Bosco is obssesed by a dame called Hilda, and he gits very confussed and says dat it is me sometimes. So I fuoght I would help him wiv dis probblem. Since we aint far from Holywood, I mannaged to book an acttress to come along and say she was de leggendry Hilda wot Bosco is seekin. Dis acttress is a very big girl.

Bosco invitted her out to de resteruant, where de sing says "Be greedy, eat what you wants for $17. Disscount if you is saved."

Dis was what Bosco ate:

Pasta Dave.
Leftover stew, made with food dat's been saved.
"Cement" doves wiv gravy in image.
St Peter's rock cakes.
Donuts a la Damain Thopmson.
Chocolate Boscoits in a lake of fire.

De actress Hilda had a meal which makes me fink she aint saved. It was suet puddin dumplins deep fried puddins frenchfries whole roast pig wiv an apple in de mouf whole roast sperm whale wiv a shark in its mouf six fried hippopotamuses and (dis is de healthy opttion) a lettice leaf.

She's a big girl and no mistake, and Bosco put a pitcher of her on his blogg, sayin dat she was his girlfiend. I fink Camila gonna be very cross when she knows about dis.

We got Bosco a new costtume for goin to de Calumny Chappel, it is to disguisse de fact dat he have put on a lot of weihgt.



I gonna finnish wiv a happy pitcher of Anti Moly walking her new dogg. We aint got a name for it yet. When she calls it she screems "Sockpoppet", but den she screems dat at everyone.