Bosco is hot

My dere bruvver Bosco has bin complainin of de heat, well it aint so easy when you is all wrapped up in banddages. In fact many anceint cropses has bin found in Egpyt wrapped up like Bosco, and I am sure it is de heat what killed em off.

In our case it is also perhaps de Solar Scriptura Panels dat we has instaled on de roof of de house "Gauranteed to keep you warm in dis world and de next" dey say.

Even Grate-Anti Moly says she havvin a meltdown, such is de heat. Why she wears dat black dress and a hat in dis wevver, I dunno.



Also Bosco's girlfiend Camila is too hot, but Bosco very kindly carried her outside and dropped her in de pond (de one where de pirahna fish used to be, dat Anti Moly ate up).



Dat is what we calls true chevalry, except dat Camila weren't very pleased, she said she is allergic to runnin water, also mirrors and garlic, as it happens, dese dames sure is strange sometimes.

Bosco he also tried to jump in de pond but he fuond dat he cuoldnt get wet. He was walkin on de watter like Jessus, and much better dan St Peter. Dat's cos he's got a very strong faith and is surely saved. Or maybe de banddages provvides bouyancy.

De probblem still remians how to cool Bosco down, but I found an old fridge in de attic, and he is gonna sleep in dat. It's nice dat it seems to be made de same shape as a person. You wuold almost fink it was an iddle.



De question remains, does we dare go to de Calumny Chappel today wiv you lookin like dat, Bosco my dere?

I gotta job

Well, it is de holliday season, and de Tellegraph has recalled me to duty as a muddlerator, becos so many of dere fine muddleratin team in Sir Lanka is gonna be away. So I aint postin so much over de next few weeks. Who's gonna look after Bosco, I reely dont know, but we gave my dere bruvver a good bath and tiddied up his banddages. He is now peacefully lookin at a website called kill.a.cathlic.and.win.a.cadillac.com, which he says gives a frank and unbbiased analysis of Cathlic docktrine, and perhaps also a free car. So maybe he's OK for now.



De Tellegraph has given me some new giudelines about how to do dis muddleration fing. For example, here are a few sample blog postins, before and after muddleration.

How now, you secret, black, and midnight hags!
What is't you do?

How now, you secret
What is

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them,
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar.

Friends, lend me your ears!
I come to praise him.
men do lives after them
The good is oft
So let it be.

In fact de Tellegraph muddleration team is workin on a muddlerated edittion of Shaksepeare, which is gonna be far more poppular as all de bits where peeple gits cross and calls each other fanattical sockpoppets will be removed.

My Grate-Anti Moly says she aint very keen on muddleration, as she finds dat de best way she can comunnicate wiv de world is to insullt it. "Dem bullyin Cathlic traddies reportted my posts," she sez. Den she goes off to spend time wiv her only love, her cherie botle, dats a French joke, I doesnt reely understand it.

Bosco likewise gits very cross if he spends two hours finking of new ways to say dat Cathlics aint saved, and den de muddlerators removes his beuatiful senttiments. He have also got a new thoery dat cement iddles has got reel peeple inside, we found a photto showing de Cathlics tryin to manufacturre one.



However, de good news is dat Bosco's girlfiend, Camila Van Pyre, is ruound here a lot, she says he looks like a flim star wiv dem banddages. When she was a little girl she used to go and see dem flims wiv her mummy, I fink dat's what she said.

Deelin wiv herretics

My darlin bruvver Bosco is gettin very interestted in histry now, since he discovered dat de Roman Cathlic church used to git cross wiv herretics, dey used to knock on de door in de middle of de nihgt and shout "You aint saved, herretic. De Pope says Ha Ha Ha." Den dey used to stretch em on de rack while toastin em over de fire, hence de expresion "toast rack".

Nowadays dey just welcoms dem in and says "I dont spose you is interrested in bein saved, if it aint too presumptouos of me to mentoin it? Have a cup of tea while you is finkin it over." Dis aint a patch on what we does in de Calvados Chappel - we gits reely fierce wiv de unsaved and Bosco bites em in de leg. Dis aint oficcial pollicy, he just enjoys it, and its a useful suorce of protene for him.

Meanwhile we is gonna go and see our belovved Mom soon, to tell her how we is gittin on wiv de path to Salivation. We calls her Mummy sometimes, and here is a photo of her wavin to Bosco from her prisson cell, dey've let her out now.

Bosco is interveiwed

My dere bruvver Bosco is too modest to say dis, but he hav become a celebritty on account of his evangellical activities, viz goin up to old ladies in de street and sayin "You aint saved buster. Gimme some cash." So we was not suprised when de Lake Hellsinere Papper sent round its star jounalist, John Hairy, to interveiw Bosco. Dis Hairy he said "Well I aint much good at talkin to people, has you got any writtings dat I can copy out, Mr Bosco?"

We showed him Bosco's luvvly blogg, and Mr Hairy he said "Er, yes, I gotta go to de men's room quick," and den he ruhsed off to vomitt.
"Was it de pitchers?" asked Bosco. "De one of my girlfiend is a little scary if you hasnt seen mummyfied copses before."
"Nope," said Mr Hairy, "It was de grahpic descriptoin of boddily functions. Even in de days befor dey sakced me from de Indepandant we wasnt allowed to menshun dat sort of stuff ecxept when writin about Ryan Gigs."
I dont fink dis interveiw wiv Bosco will ever get printted.

Meanwhile de Calumny Chappel is suing de Battman people for pinchin our saccred loggo wot we bows down to, cos dey has got one simillar:




Woss more de Battman flims has got a charracter called de Jokker wot is evidenttly based on Pastor Parsell of de Calumny Chappel.



We is gettin a leedin firm of lawyers, viz Cutley, Dastardly and Mutley, to look into dis. It aint rihgt dat de sincere beleifs of people should be mokced (unless dey is Cathlics).