We meets a funny preist

Well here we is at de seeside again (Seel Beech) and here is a pitcher of Bosco directin an outdoors prayer meetin. Note dat we doesnt stand or kneel when we prays, we just walks on de hands in de name of de Lord, singin one of our hynms.



Walk - on de hands,
Walk - on de hands,
Walk - on de hands,
Walk on de hands for de Lord.

We has met many interestin poeple and told dem dat dey wasnt saved like us. However, we may have met our match wiv Farver Arfur of de Church of de Eleven Anonnymouse Cathlics. Dis man was anxiuos to persaude us dat he was a preist, but you wuold never guess, would you?



Anti Moly screemed "Sockpoppet! ROFL!" at him, but she does dat at everyone, even de dentist when he is providin her wiv new flase teef cos de old ones was worn out wiv bitin poeple. So dat dont signiffy nuffink.

Farver Arfur insissted dat he was a preist, and produced a pile of tetsimonials from a lotta well-known people of integgrity like Baron Munchhaussen, Richard Noxin, Jeffrey Arrcher, Mohamed El Fayyed, Tonny Blair and Joanne Hairy. Dese said dat Farver Arfur was a preist in good standin. Well, in fact de accounts varried, some said he was a profit, some said he was a cradinal, and de luvvly Joanne said he was de Pop. So we gotta beleive it. Mind you, Arfur also told us he was a brane surgoen, a nuclaer pyhsicist and an Olymmpic pole-vualter in good standin, he is a man of manny talents.

Well, we aint Cathlic, we is saved poeple, and so we tries not to have much to do with Farver Arfur. When he telephons in de nihgt to say "Hello, I is a preist. Wuold you like to buy de Eiffell Tower?" we just puts de phon down.

All dis is a distractoin from de Lord's work, which is condenming gravven immages, iddles, and costume holly men. We fuond dis gravven image of a costume holly man in Farver Arfur's church, he says it is a saint in good standin, but I aint so sure.

Costume holly men

Bosco have been gettin very excitin about dem wicked Cathlics, especially costume holly men wiv gold cupps, like dis one. We in de Calumny Chappel knows dat we has found Jessus, we has even saved him a space in de car park, but we doesnt need no gold cupps.



And here's annuver costume holly man. I thuoght at first it was Bosco teechin in de Calumny Chappel Sunday School, but he explaned to me dat it is a Cathlic preist called Abrahham dicsiplining his kid who did somefink wicked like readin de Bibble. Well you gotta be firm wiv kids.



In de Calumny Chappel we doesnt have costume holly men, we has passtors. I fought dat was like spahgettis, but Bosco explaned dat it means shehperds. Now dat may seem like blassphemy, cos Jessus is de sheperd, not Pastor Noodle. So perhaps we had better go back to calling dem fathers instead, most of them got lots of kids and not many has got sheep.

Still, bein a shehperd suonds like more fun dan bein a father. In de Bibble dey sits in de fields and every so often an Angle comes along and says "Ullo, shehperds. Has you been saved?"



Anyways, Bosco is off to Seel Beech again soon, wiv me and Anti Moly. My bruvver have got a new job in de retale trade, he is wot dey call a fast-food magnet like Mr Wallmat and Mr Macdonnald (for Brittish readers, dis is like Lord Assda, or King Burger who is de prettender to a thron somewhere, maybe it's Germmany).



Bosco's job is to stand in de street, but he gotta keep his mouf shut, poeple who wants an ice-creem doesnt like it if you says "Git lost bruvver, no ice-creem for you, you aint saved." Still, Bosco is only doin it for dere own good, dey gonna needs lots of ice-creem if dey ends up in de Lake of Fire.

Off to Seel Beech

Bosco, Anti Moly and I has decammped to Seel Beech for 2 weeks. Frankly we was gittin a little unpoppular in de nieghborhood, and we decidded to lie low for a while. Dis have givven me de opportunnity to make some sand scluptures of my luved ones dat poeple can come and kiss if dey wants to.

De fust one I did was of Bosco wiv a chane saw as he goes out to convert some Cathlics (a lotta poeple at Seel Beech aint saved, and we has gotta keep doin de Lords will, or on de Day of Jugdement dere will be only Bosco and me in de winning teem).



Den I deccided to do a sclupture of my beluvved Anti Moly, wiv a cat dat she picked up somewhere. Nobody seems to want to kiss dis one.



We has also discovvered an interrestin tobm. I dont fink it can be any rellation of Anti Moly's, but it sure is mysterrious. Does it mean dat she is giulty of an imperssonation? Dat's what sockpoppets does, but I thuoght my anti was above such things.



Well, I will send more bulettins from Seel Beech when time permitts. I is workin on my scluptures (perhapps I will do one of Damain Thopmson next), Bosco is savin poeple, and Anti Moly is takkin de oportunity to catchup on her rollin aruound on de beech.

Oh, and now a word from de sponssor.

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DOES YOU SUFFER FROM EXTREEM PRESURE?

WE GOT DE SOLLUTION.



RECCOMENDED BY ANTI MOLY. HELPS YOU AVOID FITS AND SIEZURES.